It took me a long time to come to terms with my body and my role in this world as a "fat girl". But what I finally discovered is that despite the rest of the world telling me that being fat was wrong, when I look in the mirror . . . I see BEAUTY. I see gorgeous eyes, sultry smile, decadent curves, and creamy skin. I see a passionate, intelligent, strong woman. I see someone I would love to fuck! My confidence has been let out of the bag, and that gives me power and strength I never thought possible.
I am a long-time pornography fan and advocate. As well, I have always had a taste and admiration for BBW erotica. While I've always been attracted to this, I haven't really thought of it as something I could do. Well . . . I've rethought it. Not only do I think I could do it, but I think I could be GREAT at it.
I think I have what it takes to go to the top of this field. I have the look, the confidence, the smarts, and the motivation. Now all I need is a way in. I've begun a bit of networking, which is where this blog comes in.
My boyfriend and I have just bought a digital camera and started taking pictures. I will be posting some of those photos here in my blog. I invite my readers to submit their feedback. I especially urge other professionals in this field to provide some constructive criticism!
I've got starry eyes and I'm on my way!
~* Devi Ambrosia *~
4 comments:
I've said it before, and I'll say it again:
I can't believe I'm fucking you!!!
Wow!
And those are just cell-phone pics? You're incredibly good at the one-armed self-portrait. Some of the earliest "test" shots you did with the camera last night are among the best, out of the 150+ pics we took!
Love you, Devi -- always!
See more of Devi at MySpace!
You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you any different. I'm glad to hear that you love being you and that you have a suportive boyfriend. As long as you stay true to yourself and have no regrets for what you do, you'll do fine in the adult industry. Thanks for sharing your pictures and a part of you life (blog) with us.
Devi said, "I think I have what it takes to go to the top of this field. I have the look, the confidence, the smarts, and the motivation."
What Devi sadly lacks is the thing that makes you keep trying for more than three to six months. Dedication? Yeah, I think that's the term.
In 11 years with the woman, I watched her change her ambitions drastically, and almost overnight, many times over. Before she wanted to be a BBW erotic model, she was obsessively pursuing a career as a pre-school teacher. It began, as with all her ambitions, with her talking constantly about it, telling me stories about children I'd never meet ... She achieved some measure of success, showed some promise ... Then, one day, it was like she just woke up and said "I hate kids! I'm never having any, and I'm sick of dealing with them!" (I am no longer involved with Devi, but my sources say she is NOW dating a man with two or three children, and is playing the maternal role to the hilt, in exchange for full finanical support.)
The transistion between her interest in preschooling and being an soft-core porn star was, well, non-existent. She literally jumped from the one to the other.
When her interest in the "Devi Ambrosia" project (something I put a fair amount of my own heart and soul into) began to wane, she decided she needed "something to fall back on" ... Whereas you or I might take a couple of courses in web design or such, Devi enrolled in a (theroetically) two-year cosmetology school program. She even successfully applied for a Pell grant to pay the tuition ... but she came to hate the whole thing, well before she could graduate, ditching more classes than she attended, making enemies, and eventually allowing herself to be kicked out. (When Devi is done wirh something, she is DONE. I mean done done. Trust me; I was one of those things.)
Other ambitions of hers have included marketing ... photography ... the writing of children's books ... and "having a little shop, with coffee and donuts, full of creative people doing art, and open-mic nights". To her that was a business plan.
If you want to see an example of two young people turning their creative talents into a serious business venture that you could actually imagine investing in someday, check out TheBeadingQueensInc.com. They make hand-crafted jewelry out of beads and various other items. This is something Devi also knows how to do, and has tried (don't misunderstand me -- the woman is full of talents!), but her idea of "trying" was to create about eight pieces, and go set up a card table on the street, about three weekends in a row, before giving up.
I don't know what kind of a disorder it is, but Devi will not stick with an ambition, and I can only hope that some day, she strikes it rich simply by being the right person in the right place at the right time, at once lucrative moment, because dedication and perseverance are not among her many positive character traits.
One of the richest, most successful rock stars there are, David Gilmour, almost died of malnutrition, in England, in the 20th century, because he was pursuing a career in music so doggedly that he did without the security of having a home, a car, enough to eat. Can you imagine such determination? Nearly starving to death, in a first-world country, in 1967? Is that not disquietingly inspirational? I think a lot of people mistake inpiration for euphoria. An inspired person is not necessarily a happy person. I've wandered off my point, but I remember it: The woman known as "Devi Ambrosia" is multitalented, but without the determination to see a single ambition through to the end, I have literally no hopes for her future.
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